The Black Sheep

The eve of 54^th Grammy Awards-midnight of February 11, 2012 -my facebook homepage feeds me status updates from friends and the pages I liked (You know, sometimes you press the like button of some pages not because you are actually crazy about them, but just because you must pretend that you are so to get some important information- such as if the end of the world is really approaching or if chemtrails are real). 

All of a sudden, I see a wave of status updates bearing almost the same message. “R.I.P Whitney”…“Today is the saddest day for the world as it loses a star-R.I.P Whitney”… “I love you Whitney, I am sure you will be in Heaven”…

Well, honestly I was shocked by the tragic news of her death. Whitney Houston was a legend. Her music has touched a number of people by their account. Other younger stars say that she is their idol. What I cannot still agree with is the notion that 11^th of February is the saddest day for the world. Stars are born, stars die- and as it stands these days, indeed, at younger age because of some bad choice or self-destructive behavior.

What is the difference between them and us? Save their talent which makes us adore them, do they mirror in whole what we aspire to be? What is the difference between an addicted performer who shines on the stage-and, by the way, whom we barely know and an addicted homeless in our neighborhood? Why do we cry for the former’s anguish while we do not pity the later for his misery? After all, who has the better means and support to reset his lifestyle and who is the black sheep?

Not so long after that night, walking on a street near to Varvakios market, with my knapsack on my back, a very thin man, in his forties, whose face is covered by brownish beard, wearing only white t-shirt which is turning yellow, with no overcoat to protect him from the shivering cold approaches me. His hair greasy, his long fingers full of dirt, both of his arms full of old and new needle marks, his unnatural stance witnessing his struggle to keep his balance.

He asks me, “Buddy, do you have something good to sell?” his voice not quivering a bit and giving me the hint that he is ready for a further dialogue.

Fixing my eyes on him, with a smile on the corner of my mouth I answer to him, “I don’t sell drugs!” 

He straightens up, looks me into my eyes and apologises to me sincerely.

I say to him, “No worry, my friend. The cops also confuse me for a pusher.” 

He laughs genuinely exposing his toothless gum and not stopping laughing he asks me “What do you work?” 

“I am a student”. 

His smile vanishing from his face, his eyelids half closed and with a serious tone in his voice he reminds me, “Bravo! Don’t flinch. Education is light. That is what I lacked, that is what I am being punished for-for my ignorance”. 

Like that, I wanted to hear more from him and thus ask him if he wants to eat a sandwich.  He smiles and thanks me.  Over a sandwich he tells me that he was not always like that-that his well off family dwells in the suburban Kifisia but has not seen them for the last 15 years. Surprised by his way of telling his story, I listen to him carefully while he tells me about his struggle to quit taking drugs, his confrontation with the law, his anger on the society, his family and himself, and his regrets. Finally, we finish our sandwiches and I thank him dearly before we separate. On my way to Zografou-that is where I stay, I say to myself, “I found the black sheep”…

He is, indeed, one of the black sheep, stigmatized by the society for the choice he made- which he remains penitent for. We understand neither him nor the drug pusher as we don’t understand the prostitute. We blame them over and over for what they do as we hold the murderer or the thief culpable for crimes they committed. We often turn our faces on them.  We curse them for we believe that they spoil our children even though it is true that the lifestyle of a popular music group has much more profound effect on teenagers than a random homeless drug addict or prostitute in the neighborhood as the former mirrors what success and popularity means. We completely forget our role on their fate. We believe that they are bad seeds when, in fact, it is the society which is bad cultivator. In the words of the Bishop in my favorite book-Les Misérables:

“Teach those who are ignorant as many things as possible; society is culpable, in that it does not afford instruction gratis; it is responsible for the night which it produces. This soul is full of shadow; sin is therein committed. The guilty one is not the person who has committed the sin, but the person who has created the shadow.”

Yes, one is responsible for the decisions he makes, the path he follows. However, we must not forget the effect of society on the erring soul. We should not blame the wrongdoer without trying to light the sublime dark.

Quarantining, stigmatizing and embarrassing those we deem burden for the society does not get rid of the maladies within us. It rather darkens further the shadow, reinforces antisocial behavior and removes any form of penitence.

Not all drug pushers, who sell those drugs they abhor, even if their conscience tells them that they are selling death, are after quick money. Most of them have families to tend back their home, had lived and hence known poverty and have no means of survival as they are illegal immigrants.

Not all addicted enjoy taking drugs.  It is that they had slipped into quicksand from which they cannot drag themselves out.

Not one prostitute was born prostitute; she is rather a victim of society which she renders her flesh to for little money and, alas, for much stigma.

But, all of them live in the cavern amongst us, ignored by society until they go out to forage. Light the cavern of evil-Light up society from below, as Hugo wrote, then not a single bat can resist the dawn. By light we mean- effective immigration rules and assimilation methods, well-organized rehabilitation centers and healthcare, productive education system. By light we also mean- love not abomination, solidarity not isolation, activeness not passivity.

(This article has also featured on the 2nd issue of the Student Journal of Harokopio University- "To Bathaki")

No Country For Old Men

There is a saying in my country: “You get money while you are in your twenties, but will start to acquire wisdom in your forties.” It is a saying which denotes the energy and most often the naivety of the youth, and the lifelong knowledge one garners as one gets older- through the topsy-turvy path of life.

These knowledge and experience of the elders are of precious value for a nation. They can be shared with the young generation, can be used to govern a nation provided that they have the will to evolve, compromise and trust. But when they are stuck with the past, or are afraid of change and believe that they have the absolute and the ultimate answer for every problem, then they will be a dragging force, a metal ball chained around the neck of the nation.
These Old Men at helm, unable to recognize a power-shared serves the nation better than a power-accumulated-in-a-single-hand, must remember that power is a relay and not a marathon-that the youth is visionary but also revolutionary and explosive. They cannot be muzzled indefinitely; they need their voice to be heard, their question to be addressed and to be included in the decision making process.
The young should be trusted, be taken responsible and be respected for their opinion. They should be encouraged to decide their own fate, to bring innovative and radical policy on the table.

Those with power should acknowledge that the best solution for a problem is obtained through argument and compromise, that without mutual concession one cannot bridge differences.  They must also learn that brainwashing and blocking the youth from thinking independently results in a broken political and power machine incapable of providing any ad hoc or/and permanent solution for the challenges the society faces.
In the end- if these Old Men remain at the helm due to their thirst of power-not because they have purpose to accomplish, then they are like a lay man who loves the violin but cannot draw out any harmony out of it. Eventually either the audience will leave the hall turn by turn and he will remain alone, or he will be forced out of the stage.

Love In The Woods

Last time I told you that at least a couple were my envy in AWTI.In fact, there were a lot of good couples. You would see some in Zebra frequently, or having a walk in the evening. While you are in Space,You would be no more absorbed in what you read being interrupted with frequent giggles from some chicks whose heart is taken aby may be your dormmate, to be honest these chuckling sounds were sometimes far more disturbing than those Space Vampires, The Mosquitoes
But for me, there were a couple. I pass by the Beg Tera, I see the boy, I greet him. I finish taking shower, and return to my dorm, on my way I see this boy again but this time with his girl. I greet them and pass. I get dressed, come back to Beg Tera, oh man, while I hold my own, I will see that "Woret Yaldasesew Fikrachin". The boy hugging his girl, drinking from that Beso, greets me again but this time me and, you know,...whatever.That does not last long, 10:00pm the second phase takes place.

Well at 10:00pm you might not see that couple sharing Beso...You rather hear the girl yelling, the boy answering back, and then the girl lunging at him, and then the worst..That is why I say, This time, they are no more a couple. But every single time I said this, they proved me wrong. I left AWTI before I had one chance to prove myself right, lol . But the point is that, this couple was natural, was authentic, and of course pure Ethiopian-way couple.

Something to Share

You had probably parents who told you the whole eighteen years of your life how special you are, that nobody is like you! There is always at least a little shame when you fail to get what makes you special except the emptiness deep inside your heart. Emptiness that you don't see in your surrounding, which makes you somewhat static in the dynamic world. But all of a sudden you start to grin as that emptiness-the only resource you have- begins to fill your environment. Perhaps you are laughing because you shared something, probably everything you have, or perhaps because you are now less emptier and them-more emptier. But the question is do they laugh with you? Do they like the taste of emptiness?

Riots

"The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility." ~MLK~

sometimes riots do not ignite starting from nothing, or better to say, are not the first reaction towards the opposite ideology. They occur after the participants exhaust other means to make their case. So, they are used to get the attention of the "suppressor", or a third body. They are used, as MLK said in his speech( from which I quoted the ... Read Moreabove piece), to throw the very guilt on the system the participants are against to ...so that others would condemn not the sin they committed but the cause for the darkness which their soul is left in. However, their immediate result is another reaction instead of civil debate, a chain of riots and violence, more loss of life and property until the"suppressor" gives in or compromises or to the worst until the "rebellion" is crushed.. But it means that it requires the latter either to have a good will or to be cornered. Best examples are what happened after the murder of MLK and the spread of protestantism(Reformation)...
But what happens if the more powerful does not want to yield?
>>it will get an opening to mention loud the disorder, the loss of life and property. The participant will eventually be an outlaw. Doors will be closed for any progress, the suppressor will be more negligent. That is what happens in the developing countries after every election cycle... Read More.
And as MLK said defeat will be the ultimate result. The defeat is worse because it will come not from the outside but from the participants themselves. Low morale and finally lack of purpose...

FatherHood

We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child — it’s the courage to raise one." ~BO~

I went through recent statistics about single parents, and watched movies and reality shows which depict about the life of single moms. these products of the show biz industry applaud divorce, undermine the core family value, and presents reluctantly mothers as the only engine in the process of the upbringing of children. While I was left ... astounded with how issues that can be solved with selflessness and little sacrifice lead to divorce which I say it the biggest Personality- Miscarriage, I was equally appalled by the dismaying character of some fathers.The economic independence of females in the developed nations may help them decide to step out of a marriage which they claim abusive, or boring having no space for love anymore and so on and so forth because they know that they can carry on in their own right.
But what about in nations like our own Ethiopia where a father is the sole provider, where he is the rule and the law of the family, where a mother does not know what her spouse earns? This father treats the family member as his own subject because he knows that they don't have anywhere to go, that they're helpless. He demands apology from them for his own mistake.What about the father who does not know which grade his children are in, who spends most of his out- of- work time outside home leaving his wife with the needy children... ? or the father who has children in every town he visited?..
The Scripture says"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." But say it the divorce case i mentioned above or the marriage with already- separated- 2 ways, the absence of father in ones childhood has enormous impact on the child's future. He'll either avoid marriage fearing of ending up like his father or learn through failure. He will live being angry with his father for he was not taught how to handle crisis..
OR
as BO says in his book:A man's either trying to live up to his father's expectations or make up for his father's mistakes.